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    Finding our Future

    It was no secret that I had no desire to indulge Bill and free him of his commuting woes. It took me a while to realize that yes; driving 4 hours both ways in an unreliable, twelve year old vehicle, then boarding an aircraft to hopefully get to his base airport on time to make his actual work flight might be a little taxing. But, this guy of mine; he’s a patient one. Sure, he dropped a hint every once in a while, but he never pushed. He also never complained.

    He understood how much I loved my job and how happy the kids were at our church and their school. We were settled, and we had a support system of friends in place that helped keep me afloat while he traveled.

    It’s ever fascinating how God can grab a hold of you and basically shake your shoulders to get your attention when you just don’t want to listen. I firmly believe that God’s timing is always perfect, and I’m beginning to think that He gives us a window of time to dive in when He’s already equipped us and basically mapped out our path. I can look back and remember the precise moment that He cracked the window, but I had no intention of even catching a whiff of that fresh air. And did I ever pay for it…

    So here’s how this all went down. God made it very clear to me in January of 2017 (if I’m being honest, He spoke to me loudly the November before) that I was to move on from my job. This was the most grueling, painful, stressful, depressing and confusing time of my life. It left both Bill and I in a rather difficult place considering I worked at our church that we loved and had all sacrificed for over the past two years. Given the circumstances, it was hard for me to be there. It was also hard to NOT be there because everyone I loved and adored was there, and our children had no idea of the pain I was experiencing from resigning.

    My life had completely changed in a matter of minutes and I was lost and broken. I had managed to avoid thinking about the possibility of leaving my job (and essentially my church home) for almost three months and now I was completely emotionally unprepared. That’s how I paid for it.

    For approximately the next five months, I was aimless. Completely adrift in this set-up that I had so firmly tried to keep. Still no desire to move, and yet no desire to stay. Evidently Bill was God’s willing and most strategic vessel because would you believe he never once pushed? He may have thrown a house or two for sale my way, but never do I recall feeling pressured or pushed. He was unusually in tune with how to best handle my time of grief. He was exceptionally patient.

    June rolls around which is serendipitously right about when I am usually at my wits end with Bill’s travel and work schedule and the inability to produce any sense of routine within the household. It’s also when his family vacations at a beach where, quite frankly, I’m just not a big fan. We’ve come to realize that given the timing of it all, it’s a good opportunity for mama to recharge. So the plan, at first, was for me to meet a friend in Atlanta for a few days to just hang out, shop, spa, eat… girl things. Then he kinda threw in there; “Hey, you guys should just go check out some areas on the south side of Atlanta while you’re there.”

    At this point, I was so numb to anything and everything that no, that was not something I really cared to do, but I’m all just, “Ok. Whatever.” My friend had talked about going to look at houses just for fun and I would have totally humored her in that, but I had no intentions of talking with a realtor, or looking at potential living situations for the Fox family. At all.

    As it turned out, my friend couldn’t come. So I headed to Atlanta on my own ready to soak up some nice and well needed “me” time. Bill asked me very nicely and patiently to just hang out in “these three areas of town.” He asked that I just hang out, go to the Target, get a coffee at the Starbucks in each area and drive around a little. Simply get a feel for these areas. Well, I can do Target and Starbucks. Right?

    I spent the first two days marking two of the areas off my list. It was raining, and I was not feeling either place or enjoying this process at all. I knew instantly they weren’t where we were to plant ourselves. I checked out the highest ranking schools in the area and drove by those, then drove around in neighborhoods near those schools. Check and check. Done and done. No and nope nope nope.

    The next to last day, I headed to Fayetteville. I looked up the schools and figured out about where I needed to be then looked on Zillow and the listing for this little farmhouse popped up. I nearly died. I immediately texted Bill the listing and he responded with, “You’re kidding right? I showed you that listing a LONG time ago!” Well, guess what… I didn’t look. I had zero interest at that point and had no recollection. So basically I disregarded his response and said, “So this is the house. I’m gonna go check out the school situations but I’m pretty sure this is it.” I’m sure you can picture what his response was in all of the gifs that we all know and love. But again, God had a hold of Bill at this point and I’m not even sure he knew it. He knew exactly how to handle me. I was ready to go call the realtor on the sign and make an offer. His response; “Amy, go drive by the house (nope, I hadn’t at this point) and we’ll go from there.”

    So I drove by. Then I drove less than a mile down the road to find the most attractive elementary school and high school right beside it. Then that gps turned me around the other direction to find a great looking middle school less than a half a mile from there. I was done. And I told Bill. I honestly think I texted him and said, “I’m home. Let’s do this. Make an offer.”

    Now, remember at this point I had said that I didn’t want to deal with realtors. And would you believe that Bill remembered that!?! He said, “Do you want me to call the realtor that my friend recommended and see if she can show it to you?” Um yes. Yes I do. She called within an hour and she was AMAZING. I instantly felt completely comfortable and like she was the perfect fit. We set up an appointment to see the house the next morning. And basically folks… that’s all she wrote. I didn’t need to see anymore. She brought other listings to check out and she eliminated most all of them right away. She knew that it was pointless… I’d found my house. I’d found my home. I’d found myself again. Thinking about how I felt mentally and physically in that moment brings tears to my eyes. I had been wandering emotionally and mentally for so long and it was all over in a matter of 15 minutes or less. Because God. God finally took me by the shoulders and made me listen. He was done fighting with me. He was no longer willing to watch me linger. He had plans for me; for us all. And it was time to get to work.

    Take a look at this Fallow Farmhouse on the day I chose it.

    New Beginnings for an Old Farmhouse

    fal·low /ˈfalō/
    adjective
    (of farmland) plowed and harrowed but left unsown for a period in order to restore its fertility as part of a crop rotation or to avoid surplus production
    synonyms: uncultivated, unplowed, untilled, unplanted, unsown

    Where better to begin?
    No, I had never even heard this word before. I would say I’m only familiar with the most basic of “farming” words: chickens, grass fed, organic, till, sow, cows, sheep, grain… you get the idea. So, the fact that we would choose a 1920s farmhouse on it’s remaining 5+ acres is really quite a fluke. A second story was added and some remodeling was done in the seventies and I’m pretty sure that’s the last time any tlc was given. If you know us, we are not Chip and Joanna, or Rhea and her Marlboro man. Not even close. We are Bill and Amy. Fox. As simple, cliché and unoriginal as they come. Two kids, two dogs, and a cat.

    I think it’s safe to say that probably everyone in our family was rather surprised when we told them we were buying “an old farmhouse.” Some may have been rendered speechless when we mentioned that it was “like, really old” and only minimally updated. Because again; this wasn’t us. I mean, I can’t even keep my spring front porch planters alive for the duration of the season. I’ve never been able to keep an herb garden for very long. I bake a cake every once in a while. I love to entertain, but even then I don’t go overboard on cooking, preparing, or… anything! Bill has never allowed me to decorate with the chippy painted, scuffed up furniture that I adore because it “looks junky.” I don’t get all giddy at the farmer’s market over the fresh veggies. Bill loves to cut the grass and keep the yard looking nice and tidy. He dreams of beautiful lavishly landscaped areas, but there’s never been time to actually prioritize that. He’s very good about figuring out how to fix things with internet assistance, and does great at actually fixing those things, but he learns as he goes. I fully trust that he’d be able to figure out how to build virtually anything, but it’s not like he’s chomping at the bit to do those sorts of projects. So. We don’t buy “project” houses.

    Except, we did. We SOOOOOOOOOOO did. It’s crazy. It’s insane. It’s NUTS. And the most crazy part about it is that we BOTH wanted to. We didn’t necessarily intentionally seek this adventure, but we both felt like it was right. We both wanted this. Typically I have to nudge a bit to get what I know God wants for us. I have to push to get what I know is right for us… And of all things, Bill was just as much about this as I was.

    So, this blog. Isn’t that just what you’re supposed to do? Start a blog when you buy a fixer upper?? OF COURSE! But y’all… this has been such a ridiculously insane transition that there’s just no way around it. Money Pit with Tom Hanks and Shelley Long…kinda. Baby Boom with Diane Keaton… yes! But even beyond the unending and urgent “home improvements,” the first two months were nothing short of tiresome, overwhelming, expensive, and extremely stressful at times. However, it was (and is) equally, if not more rewarding, therapeutic and divine. So many people have said, “you need to be writing this down,” or “you need to be blogging this stuff.” And, quite honestly, I have a lot to say. I started feeling the “nudge” from the get go. So I’m doing it.

    I will do my best to catch you up to speed on all of the extraordinary farm life happenings of the past year. I will share my spiritually cultivating journey. House renovation dreams. Project progress. Our complete ineptitude. Our screw ups! Our proud moments. The hiccups. The blessings. And pictures.

    Oh yeah… so back to that word… “fallow.” Well… you’ll see. I promise.